


Well, this is a problem

by unknownlifeform



Category: Konjiki no Gash!! | Zatch Bell!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Humor, Minor Character Death, Snippets, Speculation, about half the characters are ocs, also king bell doesn't get a first name cause i'm lazy like that, literally no one asked for this fic but here it is anyway, overanalyzing anime logic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 11:59:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18052103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknownlifeform/pseuds/unknownlifeform
Summary: One thousand years ago, there was another mamodo battle, one where half the participants got turned into a stone tablet and King Bell became, well, king. It would have been awfully convenient for things like fast transport methods and worldwide used common languages to have existed. Too bad, this was the Middle Ages, and the human world sucked





	Well, this is a problem

_Great Lakes area, America, June 998_

Darin spied the group of young humans walking through the woods. Three young men, laughing and joking. They had not spotted him, sitting on a branch far above them.

Darin had been walking around the land for a couple weeks now, familiarizing himself with it, observing the local people. Before being sent here, they had been told that they would likely end up somewhere close to their human partners. They had also been told to trust their instincts when it came to looking for the correct one.

Considering his abilities and psychic powers, Darin was good at following his instincts. Those instincts were, after all, usually right. And it was said instincts that told Darin that he needed to talk with those three men.

He jumped off the tree, landing in front of them, making them jump and shout in surprise. Two of them drew out the knives they kept at their side.

"Good afternoon," Darin said, not feeling particularly threatened.  It wasn't as if the three would actually be dangerous to him, no matter how skilled fighters they could be for their people.

"Who are you?" one of the men asked. His eyes ran up and down Darin's form, no doubt confused by the mamodo's light green tint and clothing.

Darin smiled. "Someone that needs your assistance. May one of you please read this?"

With a theatrical move, he took his book out from underneath his cape and held it out to the humans. The three didn't take it. They glanced, distrustful, between the book and the mamodo's face.

"What is that?" one of them asked eventually.

"A spell book."

"A spell... a what?"

Darin repressed a sigh. "A book. Will one of you try to read it?"

The three exchanged confused looks. 

"Surely you have books in your village?" Darin said.

The three shook their heads slowly. Suddenly, Darin thought that so far, he had never seen any human reading a book.

That was a problem.

 

_Southern Russian countryside, August 998_

"I'm telling you, I can't read."

Dalmos was starting to feel tempted to punch this woman square in the face. "You didn't even open the book."

"And I repeat it, I can't read a single word." The human –  Olga, she had said – crossed her arms in front of her chest.

It's not that Dalmos wanted her as a partner. She was clearly no longer in the prime of her life, grey starting to touch her hair. She squinted as if her eyesight wasn't the best, and her back was bent from a lifetime of working in a field. Overall, not a prime fighter candidate. But Dalmos couldn't exclude her until she read his fucking book.

" How do you even know?"

Olga huffed like he was asking the dumbest question she had ever heard. "Do I look like a rich lady to you? Never read a single word my whole life, tell him, Boris."

Boris – her husband – grunted his approval. He was scowling up at Dalmos, and seemed to be convinced Dalmos was here to steal his wife. Which was ridiculous. So far, Dalmos couldn't really find any positive quality about Olga at all.

Tired of this shit, he opened his book on the first page and put it right in front of her eyes, close enough there was no way she couldn't make out the words.

"Read."

She blinked. "Be... Begiru... sen?"

Fuck. He was stuck with her.

Olga stared at the page a few more seconds, apparently baffled. "Well I'll be damned. Boris, Boris did you see this? I can read, Boris!"

 

_Southern England, November 998_

"You are telling me you are not human."

"Yep."

"And that you are from another world."

"That is correct."

"And you are here to fight others like you."

"Right."

Shelby massaged his head. Pamoon supposed that yet, it may have been a lot to take in for someone who had no idea there even were other worlds other than his own. At least Pamoon wasn't being threatened with a sword anymore.

They stayed in silence for a few seconds, Pamoon allowing the human to think it over. Shelby shook his head a couple times, before apparently coming to a decision.

"Are you an angel?"

"Excuse me?"

"You say you are not of this world, and I'm no scholar but all I know that is from outside this world is angels and demons, and you don't seem like a demon. I mean, you look like a star, and everyone knows the sky is our Lord's kingdom, and so you must be an angel. But I don't understand, why would angels be sent here to fight? Or, you talked about kings and, there can't be kings in Heaven other than God."

It took a few seconds for the words to register in Pamoon's brain. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.  Religion. Right. Religion seemed to be a huge thing in the human world, Pamoon had already noticed it. Buildings with that holy cross symbol everywhere and all. Of course, when met with something outside his frame of reference, Shelby would try to apply religion to it.

Pamoon could tell Shelby to stop being an idiot, potentially insult his god, and go back to the whole sword thing. Or, he could play along.

"What if I told you I am neither from, uh, Heaven or Hell, but another place?"

"But- God has created everything, and to say that you are not from here, nor Heaven, nor Hell, aren't you saying you come from somewhere not made by God?"

"Well, if... if God, made this world, couldn't he also have made other worlds than this?"

Shelby frowned. "He  _is_ all powerful, so maybe... But I don't see why..."

"And you always know why God does what he does?"

"Well, no, it is not for humans to know."

"There, you have your answers." 

This was so stressful. Hopefully it was going to be the last conversation they ever had on the matter. Pamoon really wanted to have a talk with whoever had decided religion had to be so important to humans.

 

_Sichuan region, China, May 999_

"Are you sure about this?" Kang asked.

Tsao-Lon nodded. "The presence I feel is definitely in this direction. I do believe we are getting closer."

"And how closer have we been getting? We've been walking a whole week now."

Tsao-Lon knew Kang wasn't doubting the fact they were going towards a mamodo. They had already defeated one before, another Tsao-Lon had tracked down. Kang didn't have reason to doubt Tsao-Lon's instincts.

He was worried, that was all. They were going pretty far from his family, or any place Kang may have been familiar with. He was still an adolescent. He had a strong will, Tsao-Lon had to give it to him, but he could be childish. Hopefully, he'd get used to being on his own, Tsao-Lon had no intention on coddling him.

Besides, he was on a whole different world, being a few weeks away from home was nothing compared to that.

Tsao-Lon was, however, getting pretty sure this mamodo had to be rather far. Tsao-Lon's sixth sense told him it was the closest to them, two them buzzing at the edges of his perceptions, but much farther. Yet, it was taking a lot of time to get closer, and not just because Kang had to rest all the time.

The land wasn't helping either. The terrain was getting rougher, and they had some mountains to cross. Well, whatever, it was all training. Tsao-Lon was not going to let some climbing stop him.

If, however, it started raining, then Tsao-Lon may just take a breather.

 

_Assam region, India, May 999_

"Are you sure about it?" Sunayana asked.

Ringdya huffed. "I told you, there is another mamodo in this direction. We are going the right way."

"Are we going this way until we're in China? It's been two weeks."

Ringdya growled. They would have moved a lot faster without Sunayana having to rest all the damn time. Sure, Ringdya's four legs were better than Sunayana's weak two in this place, but it was ridiculous how easily the human got tired.

Of course, there was the fact she had never really done this type of physical exercise in her life before. She was the daughter of a wealthy jewel maker, she was used to walking at most the distance from her house to the market. If Ringdya were honest, she was probably doing better than would have been expected from her. Still. She was so slow.

Ringdya would have to give her some proper training.

Of course, it wasn't as if they were walking on some comfortable, paved roads. The paths weren't easy, and more than once Ringdya's own paws had slipped.

Hopefully, they wouldn't have to cross this whole damn mountain range to find the other mamodo.

 

_Southern Mauritania, January 1000_

Humans were... terrible. It wasn't that  Kechako hated them, per se. He had actually grown almost fond of them while he had been here in this place. Most of the time. other times, they just got on his nerves.

It wasn't entirely their fault, he supposed. As a race, they had little to no access to any magical power. Not only they didn't have any actual spells, but they didn't have the little blessings mamodos did either.

Take language. Most mamodos, with time, developed a sort of ability for understanding all languages. It was necessary, given certain mamodos were not even able of speaking in anything but various noises. Some were better than others at it, but it was more or less universal. It was a very useful skill, that came in handy, for, for instance, picking up pretty much every human language in a matter of minutes or hours at most.

Kechako watched with a certain growing despair as his partner argued with one of the local people. Kehinde was waving her hands around, voice gradually raising, the other human also starting to shout. Kechako doubted yelling was going to make understanding each other easier, yet the two of them seemed convinced of it.

Kechako could have been the one doing the talking, of course. They needed to know if there was a way to cross this desert, and they needed the locals to help them. But Kechako had also learnt humans seemed to think he was some kind of evil monster wanting to kill them whenever they took one look at him, and so he had to sit in a corner and wait.

If only these people had at least a common language. Mamodos did. Many tribes had their own languages, but they also were thought the universal one since they were children. It was simply logical to do so.

But he supposed such a convenient idea had never occurred to these people.

 

_Azerbaijan, March 1000_

Laila stared up at the sky. It was slightly cloudy, not enough to bring rain, but the sun was obscured. It was good. There wasn't a lot of sun back where Laila came from, and she loved it when it was out. This was a bad day, she wouldn't have wanted the sun to be there.

Labibah hated the sun. It was always sunny where she came from, and it was scorching hot. She liked it when it was cloudy. She... would have been happy here.

It had been such a stupid thing. She hadn't even wounded herself in battle, no, Labibah had cut herself on something while falling down. They had washed and bandaged the wound. It had bled plenty, but it had not looked dangerous.

Then, six days later, the contractions had started. Labibah muscles tensed painfully without her will, getting worse and worse every day.

The people Laila had taken her to had called it tetanus. They said there was little they could do, other than giving her a few leaves and hoping the sickness passed. It passed on its own, sometimes. An old man in that village had had it when he was young, and he had healed.

Had this been the mamodo world, Laila would have found someone with healing powers. Virtually everything could be fixed with the right spell.

Here, all one could do was wait. Human medicine was weak, especially in a village in the middle of nothing. Maybe, if they had been in a city, there would have been better healers there, who knew more.

Three weeks later, Labibah... she had been lost.

In the back of Laila's mind, she felt a presence getting closer. An enemy.

She didn't have her human partner anymore. She wasn't strong, physically, for a mamodo. Her only hope would be to run, and... 

Maybe she could find a new partner. Who knew. But even if it were possible, it did not feel right to just leave Labibah behind.

B ecoming queen didn't feel like an attractive idea anymore. If the other mamodo reached her, she would let them burn her book. In her world, she had family, friends. She wouldn't have to be alone there, lying in a field and pretending there weren't tears running down her cheeks.

 

_Queensland shores, Australia, October 1000_

Serene sat, staring at the sea in front of her. Fucking sea. She hated the damn sea nearly as much as she hated this damn island, with its unlivable desert and stupid aggressive animals.

A presence got closer to her. Her sixth sense was shit, but no one would have missed a large, dragon like creature landing next to them.

"I take it you didn't have success either," she said.

Badios' growl was all the answer she needed.

Serena gritted her teeth. She had walked around the whole island two times over by now, Badios probably more. And still, neither of them had found their human.

Four mamodos, that was the number that had been sent to this place. The other two had found their respective humans. One had gotten her book burned fighting the other, the second, had had his stolen by Serene while he was asleep.

Badios and Serena kept being without their human. The only explanation at this point was that their humans were not on this island. Considering both of them had awaken in this world around this area, it was safe to say their humans were on some other land, in the north, not on this shitty island.

Asking the humans had not been particularly helpful because while they did said they thought there were other lands, they didn't know where. Or how far. Or in what direction. Because none of them ever really left.

"So. We should try."

The only reason they had not flown away to look was that they wanted to be sure they had not missed anything here. Oh, and because Badios was scared. Because he, who had wings, and could fly, was scared of trying to cross this sea.

Even now, he was not making eye contact with Serene.

"If you have a better choice, tell me. But now I'm climbing on your back, and if you can't think of anything else, you _are_ taking us away from here."

Badios caved in. Serene climbed up on him, holding both her own green book and his yellow one. He took flight.

Hopefully, whatever land was on the other side was not too far.

 

_Eritrea, September 1001_

Alm s tared at his human partner.

"What," he said, dumbly.

"You heard me," Nombeko replied.

Alm blinked. "But-"

"But what?"

"It's been like, three months since you married. Isn't that early?"

Nombeko sighed. "No, it's not."

When Nombeko had told him she wanted to marry, Alm hadn't had any objections. She had left her land and family to travel with him, had crossed the whole continent, he felt finding a husband was entirely within her possible desires. She still didn't speak the local language too well, but that had not stopped her to fall in love. He had felt the same way, and so they had had their wedding. 

Now, after having been pretty much still in the same place for some eight months, Alm felt it was about time they started moving again. The battle didn't wait around. 

And then she came, and told him she was going to have a kid. That couldn't be right. Alm wasn't an expert in marriages, but it took usually a few years for couples to have kids. Nombeko couldn't already be in that stage after just a handful of months.

Then again, human lives were ridiculously short. Perhaps it was just necessary for them to reproduce so fast.

"But you will still be able to fight," Alm said. "I mean, will you, uh, lay an egg or..."

"What the fuck, why would I lay an egg?" she asked.

"Well I don't know, some mamodos do."

"Humans don't. We carry the children. No battles for me for the next eight months."

" _Eight months?_ " 

That was ridiculous. There were still enemies out there, they couldn't hide for another eight months. 

"Listen here," she said, "I have fought with you. A lot. But my life doesn't revolve around this stupid battle.  I am twenty, it’s about time I have kids.  So suck it up."

“It’s really not time,” Alm said, because twenty was ridiculously young. By mamodo standards, yes, but he was sure it was the same by human standards.

“And when then?”

Alm growled, but decided to drop it, floating away to sulk. Not like he could do anything about it now. Stupid humans with their stupidly fast life cycle.

 

_Atlantic coast, Portugal, November 1002_

Bell crossed his arms in front of his chest. Since the announcement that said only ten mamodos were left in the world, he had personally defeated five. One more had been turned into stone. Two others left. One, perhaps, because where once he had felt two distant beings, now he only perceived one.

One last opponent. One last victory, and he would be kind. He could almost feel the crown on his head already. Just one.

But. As with everything in this world. There was a problem.

"It's on the other side," he growled.

"It's impossible," Hisao said, glaring at him.

"I know what I feel."

"And I know that the Europeans all say there is nothing on the other side of this ocean. Just water, and water, and more water."

"The world is round, the water will finish at some point."

"Well, in that case we'll just end back in Japan, and I don't see the point of crossing a whole ocean when we could just go back by land."

"Because the enemy is not in Japan."

Hisao rolled his eyes. "No one, in Europe or Asia or Africa, has ever told us there is another land in this ocean, so I don't see why we should find one."

"Because I know there  _has_ to be!"

There was no other reason for him to feel a mamodo in that direction. If only Hisao would stop being stubborn and listen.

He turned to him. The human was biting his lip, a nervous habit Bell had not been able to stop him from. 

He sighed. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Then you must know I am right."

"...yeah."

"Were you not the one who told me he wanted to see as much of the world as he possibly could?"

Hisao shook his head. "I didn't mean sailing to our possible deaths."

"Did I say anything about sailing?"

"Then ho- oh no, no  _no nonononoyouasshole-"_

Bell grinned as he wrapped his cape around Hisao, and pushed himself off the ground to float. "This is much faster than any ship."

"We're going to fucking die-"

Bell laughed, and took flight. He was fast enough to fly across China in a day, if he so chose. This puddle would be nothing to cross.

**Author's Note:**

> ...and it was this way that Hisao ended up being the first Japanese man to get a permanent residence in Ohaio. hope you enjoyed, comment so i know i'm not the only person left in the world who cares about this fandom


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